Thursday, January 24, 2013 -Posted by Fadi Bejjani
It's Only Eleven Inch Long!
The lawsuit epidemic in the US is reaching a new high that may even outshine the old lady with the hot coffee at McDonald.
Some of you with vivid imagination may have thought the title's plot takes place in the bedroom. I assure you NOT at least for now. Though some wives may be getting litigious ideas. After all it is America and there is an accommodating and willing lawyer around every corner.
Anyhow what is only 11 inches is the SUBWAY FOOT LONG sandwich and that is today the object of a New Jersey lawsuit. How dare the baker not measure his bread with a precision ruler? How about the sandwich contents: how many ounces of meats, pieces of lettuce and tomato, and squirts of dressing? Sandwich makers better weigh all that to swart further lawsuits. If I recall correctly Subway lets the customer decide what to put in the sandwich for a flat fee. So how would that work out and how fast will this fast food chain be in the future?
Burger King better accurately weigh its quarter pounder and other chains better prepare for an onslaught of lawsuits if the current one is not thrown out of court.
What is the actual damage incurred by the plaintiff due to the inch shortfall? Starvation? or maybe unexpected weight loss (which should be a welcome side-effect and part of a counter suit). At least McDonald's old lady could claim a lip burn. Nevertheless, the suit had the intended effect. The media naturally was all over it this morning, thus giving this ridiculous claim quite a bit of coverage. The media intent was probably half humor half satire. Nonetheless millions of viewers saw it therefore validating it. How many of those viewers will now join a class action suit against Subway. They are probably all rushing to their local franchisee right now with a ruler. Lawyers are establishing a hot line: 1-800-SO-SHORT and the phones will be ringing off the hook. The net result of all this will probably be an even shorter sandwich with half the meat and twice the price. Another good American brand legally destroyed!
If this suit goes on, I see a strange world where wives are running after their husbands with a ruler and mothers running after their children measuring their heights, intending to sue their pediatricians and obstetricians, before their children sue them for being too short! Why not also putting those kids on the scale then blame Subway for too rich and too long a sandwich if they are overweight. As long as there are lawyers around willing and eager there will be no end to this madness.
I can see a huge billboard lawyer ad coming in the horizon:
UNHAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE? Call 1-800-GOD-SUIT